Does this look like a uterus?

People say this hat looks like a uterus and fallopian tubes:

Pictured: front and side views of Princess Beatrice of York wearing a vertical pink hat shaped like . . . a uterus?

It kind of looks like a spider to me.


But this one is definitely a vagina:

Pictured: Tara Palmer-Tomkinson in a blue dress and hat unquestionably shaped like a vagina.

Hardworking Gratuitous Uterus enjoys well-deserved pampering

Pictured: G.U. in day spa with two tables. One with fruit, cheese, and bottled water, the other with tissues and nail polish.

My, I'll bet you uteri lead interesting lives. I said to my girl friend just the other day, 'Gee, I'll bet uteri are interesting.' I said. The places you must go and the things you must see -- my stars! I bet you meet lots of interesting people too. I'm always interested in meeting interesting people. Now let's dip our patties in the water!

Gratuitous Uterus Inc. How may I direct your call?

Pictured: G.U. sitting at a cubicle desk in front of computer keyboard and mouse, wearing a headset.

This is obviously a staged photo. Gratuitous Uterus is really the CEO.

Have you incorporated your uterus yet?

Pictured: Certification of the uterus of Uté Russ as Gratuitous Uterus Inc.

Where did you think the Easter Bunny got his eggs?

Pictured: G.U (with ovaries attached to her fallopian tubes) sits on a table next to a purple stuffed bunny holding an egg that says "Happy Easter." Background has a basket of candy; foreground has pink plastic grass with six died Easter eggs resting on it.

Why the frell is the Easter Bunny male?

The rabbit is supposed to be a symbol of fertility. But it doesn’t pass out sperm (unless I’m familiar with the wrong theology); it gives eggs. And this new movie Hop features a male EB. Since I would rather run myself over with my car than see it, I’ll have to rely on you people. Would the movie have sucked more with a female EB?

Edited to add: I'm pretty sure the character is not supposed to be a transgendered male. 

Gratuitous Uterus does not have a bun in the oven.

Pictured: G.U. on a table holding a tray full of fresh cookies.

That's okay. Zie prefers cookies anyway.

Gratuitous Uterus bowls for choice.

Pictured: G.U. stands at the end of a bowling lane next to a pink ball which looks rather surprised to have its picture taken.

Actually, we were able neither to find or start a local bowl-a-thon, so we just went bowling for fun, then donated to the Women’s Medical fund via Michelle Kinsey Bruns’ page. Please help out if you’re able!

Gratuitous Uterus shows up for her pap smear.

Pictured: G.U. sitting on the counter at the Walgreens pharmacy next to a sign that reads "Please Proceed to the Pickup Window."

It turns out Walgreens doesn’t even do pap smears. How weird is that?